FUCK the GOAT
Super Bowl was cool, right?
Big shouts out to all the former Bills on the Eagles D: Corey Graham, Ron Darby, Nigel Bradham, and Jim Schwartz are all Buffalo Legends, we love you guys. Chris Hogan and Stephon Gillmore are dead to us tho.
Extra Big Shouts out to the DYM Legend Torrey Smith. Torrey now has two Super Bowl rings and Wes Welker has zero.
Besides that we didn’t have much riding on this game, so the DYM Household Super Bowl party was pretty subdued this year:
Really the whole SB Week felt pretty anti-climactic this year. Patriots fatigue is real out here in the NFL zeitgeist. Pretty much everybody was happy that the Pats lost, but I think we would have been much happier had the Pats not been there at all. Before the playoffs even started the number one NFL storyline was the demise of the Patriots. Both coordinators are leaving, Brady is old as shit, him and Belichik have beef with Kraft, and all these things are much more interesting to talk about than the actual 2017 New England Patriots football product. It’s gotten to the point where people don’t just want to see the Pats lose, we want them to not exist anymore.
Obviously we are huge proponents of this wide-spread Patriots hate. A friend of ours said to us last week something like “ya know, Brady is the GOAT tho, I mean, 40 years old? It’s pretty impressive.” And I was like “nah man. Fuck that.” Because we hate Tom Brady and you all should too. Hating the patriots is a unique opportunity for football fans of today, and we should all be careful not to squander it. See, when we were a kid we were Nets fans, as we are today. Back then that meant that we were decidedly NOT a fan of Michael Jordan. The Bulls in The Finals in the 90’s felt about as perfunctory as Patriots in the SB does today. We did not find this to be “impressive,” we did not enjoy watching this. But the great part is that now, 20 years later, we do appreciate MJ. We love watching youtube highlights of those old Bulls teams. They’re Fucking Awesome! And the same will be true some day of these Patriots. Maybe in 20 years we can look back and say “that was a cool thing”, but today is not that day. The Patriots are great RIGHT NOW, so we must hate them now.
Practice mindfulness! Be present, sports fans!!
An analytical mind is not necessarily the most enlightened. Analysis is best done from a certain distance from one’s subject. But fans must be much closer to the game than analysts. The fan experience is more vital. We are the 12th man. Our experience is more involved in becoming a part of the game than in observing it. That’s why the fans’ hate must be embraced - Because the hate is real, it is a personal, emotional connection to the game.
Hating great players and great teams is the one of the few ways for fans to become active participants in the game and its culture. Hating Michael Jordan was my place in the game; it was my purpose, my duty as a fan, and my covenant with The Game.
If we just sit back and praise everyone that’s successful and scorn everyone who fails, then we might as well be robots. It’s not hard to imagine referees being replaced by robots; and it’s not a great stretch to imagine sports played and coached by robots; and Yahoo fantasy players know that robot analysts are already a thing. But fans will always be human. Robots can never be fans because robots cannot love and, more importantly, they can’t hate.
Some will say they are happy to band-wagon because they enjoy winning, and isn’t that the point of the game? But the band-wagoner is a deluded individual. He lies to himself. He believes that he controls his own destiny by choosing his favorite teams, when in fact he has submitted himself to the caprices of fate. He never resists fate, never rails against inevitable defeat, and so he is condemned to the listless existence of an automaton. The fan who never boos, never truly lives.
HEROES WAS BETTER
The other big thing on NBC this week is the finale of This Is Us. We love this show. But it was sad how the doctors kept telling Jack he “inhaled too much smoke.” We could never go out like that. Smoke inhalation is our jam. Maybe if he never went to AA he woulda survived, we always inhale a lot more smoke when we’re drinking.
HAVE A GREAT OFFSEASON EVERYBODY!!
